Archive for the 'Translation' Category

Apples and Pears

Now is about the time of year that I am most glad that I live in Kochi. Everyone in most of the rest of Japan has gotten out their long pants, long-sleeved shirts and jackets, but we’re sitting pretty down here, looking forward to another month or so of 80-degree days. Sure, it’s getting cooler and it rains a bunch, but we can count on not having to put our T-shirts away until mid-November.

It’s just like this in the springtime as well, so we get two extra months of pleasant weather in a country that is renowned for having unpleasant weather. “I’ll take that,” said Mac, licking his index finger and making another tally on the board for Kochi.

We are on the cusp of my favorite season for local produce. Asian pears are falling off the branches as I write this, and soon enough, my beloved tangerines and ponkans will start showing up in grocery stores and fruit stands. Delicious potatoes, bok choy, and other vegetables make the rounds, and my refrigerator and fruit bowl burst with tasty fresh food into the spring.

I tried to arrange a pear-picking event last weekend and got no bites from friends and acquaintances around town. Undeterred, I hopped on my bike and went by myself to a farm different than the one from last autumn. All in all the experience was just OK, and would’ve been much more fun with a bunch of friends, but the pears were pretty tasty and the scene relaxing.

The trees are between four and five feet tall and the branches grow around the wires of a grid strung up in the air just above the orchard, so you have to stoop to get inside and sneak around like you’re in a gigantic, leafy cave. These hot pear babes will show you how it’s done.

Kochi has a variety of pear called the Niitaka Nashi, which I liberally translate as GIANT KOCHI PEAR. This website has a humorous explanation of the Niitaka Nashi and lots of other Japanese food. As it says on her website, she is a Japanese glutton. I applaud her effort and in the same breath summon the deckhand to bring me my brown pants because that machine translation isn’t bad.

These things are humongous, observe one in the hands of this Japanese college basketball player.

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GIANT KOCHI PEARS are the offspring of a species of pear from Niigata, Japan, and a Kochi species which were scientifically married in 1912 or something like that. They weigh in at an average of over two pounds and can weight as much as four pounds. If pear trees could talk, they might be as much fun to prank call as bowling alleys used to be. “Excuse me, do you have four-pound ovaries? How do you walk?”

Aside: My generation’s children are not going to be able to experience the joy of crank calling. We’re way past the days of worrying about whether the geeks at Pizza Hut knew how to use *69. Caller ID, GPS Location, and random government wire-tapping take all the fun out of it.

Aside-Aside: Do you still answer the phone with a greeting intended for an unknown caller? One that would work for anyone from your kid brother to the President of the United States? I admit that I still do and pretend like I don’t know who the caller is. Silly, but I just can’t shake the notion that you’re not supposed to know who’s on the other side of the line digital signal traveling to space and back.

GIANT KOCHI PEARS cost as much as ten bucks apiece when they are shined up and packaged as local souvenirs for travelers, and two bucks when they’re especially lumpy or have a gash or scar on the skin. Japanese produce distributors think, right or wrong, that Japanese shoppers are finicky about the appearance of produce and have strict guidelines about shape and size. Whatever the case, I enjoy lumpy pears, crooked cucumbers, and stained carrots all year at close-to-reasonable prices. They’ll still never beat California, but I have to declare victory and feel good where I can.

I’m going to Tokyo tomorrow for a string of business meetings and to look at apartments in case I decide to move there next year. I ponied up fifteen bucks for two monstrous GIANT KOCHI PEARS at the farm, thinking that it’d be a classy move to walk into the meetings bearing some fabled local fruit that I picked myself. Wouldn’t be surprised if I cut one up and ended up feeding 5,000 with it.

In other news, my sister lives in New York and did the same thing with apples this weekend, only much, much cheaper. Check out her story here.

Translation Fun

Computers do everything. I recall my uncle raving about computers fifteen years ago at a Christmas dinner.

“Pretty soon all of this will be gone!” he said, waving his arms wildly in the general direction of the hosts’ new home entertainment center. “All you’ll need is a computer! Just one little box! One box in the corner of the room will do it all!”

These boxes do almost everything. About all my computer won’t do for me is cut my hair, scratch my back, wash dishes, and make me some pie. Now that I’m translating for a living and writing more and more baseball scouting reports, I’m on the computer for hours on end every day. It’s my stereo, my TV, my Rolodex, even my international telephone.

These machines can translate words from one language to another, and I’ve heard they do a damn good job at languages that are similar to each other. This causes some Doomsday prophecies among translators, worried that machines will be eating their lunch by 2015. Or 2012, depending on who you ask. One nut out there even goes around saying that Google Translate has passed English-Spanish certification exams, though no real evidence of that has surfaced.

Here’s a toy that shows how good it gets going between English and Japanese:

Translation Party

I can’t show you the Japanese on this blog and it wouldn’t make sense to a lot of you anyway, but look what happens when a machine plays with words. I tried this one first:

Let’s go!

“Put some elbow grease into it.”
into Japanese…
back into English
“Please put some elbow grease into it.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Put some oil on the elbow.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Please put some oil on the elbow.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“For more information, pour some oil in the elbow.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“For more information, add oil to the elbow.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“For more information, add oil to the elbow.”

Equilibrium found!

Now, this isn’t completely fair. Of course, there’s no context, and “elbow grease” is a highly specific native-speaker-only type English phrase. Ever recall trying to explain what elbow grease is to a kid? I remember people trying to tell me, and I still don’t really know, and I couldn’t come up with anything similar in Japanese. Not even sure I could explain why it’s elbow grease and not knee oil or shoulder WD-40.

Can’t stop there, though!

Let’s go!

“You play ball like a girl.”
into Japanese…
back into English
“You please play the ball like a girl.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Please you play ball like a girl.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Please play your ball like a girl.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Like the girl of your choice, please play the ball.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“As a girl of your choice, please play the ball.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“As your favorite girl, please play the ball.”
back into Japanese…

It is doubtful that this phrase will ever reach equilibrium.

The toy cycles through those last two English phrase about ten times before reaching the conclusion that there is no conclusion. Interestingly enough, when I entered “You play ball like a girl!” with the exclamation point, no iterations were necessary to attain equilibrium.

Let’s go!

“In the jungle you must wait, ’til the dice read five or eight.”
into Japanese…
back into English
“Goma, you need to wait for the dice Jungle, ‘read 5-8.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Goma, the jungle waiting to die, ‘you should read 5-8.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Sesame seeds, waiting to die in the jungle, May 8, please read.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Sesame seeds, please read through the jungle, May 8, is waiting to die.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“Sesame seeds, the jungle, until May 8, please read and be waiting to die.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“May 8, sesame, jungle, please read it and wait for death.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“May 8, sesame, in the jungle, waiting for it please read the death.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“May 8, Goma, in the jungle, please read it waiting for death.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“May 8, Goma, in the jungle, waiting for death, please read.”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“May 8, Goma, in the jungle, waiting for death, please read.”

Equilibrium found!

I don’t know where the sesame seeds came from, but it seems that this machine knows a little too much about the nature of Jumanji. From dice to death, indeed.

The following, however, is far more dangerous:

Let’s go!

“I don’t like Japan!”
into Japanese…
back into English
“I’m not in love Japan!”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“I love Japan!”
back into Japanese…
back into English
“I love Japan!”

Equilibrium found!

Equilibrium my foot! Type in “I don’t like the USA!” and see what happens! I keep hearing that machines are getting better and better at “understanding” nuances of language, but “I don’t like Japan” is pretty basic. This is why I have a job!

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The so-called “conversation dictionary” on my cell phone is nearly as entertaining. If I’m stuck on a local train and can’t open my computer to do some work, I’ll flip the cell phone open and catch up on text messages or mess around with the dictionary.

“Don’t mess with me!” becomes “You must not dine with me.”

“Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES!” is “The rhinoceros which reads my lip: There is no new tax!”

“If you build it, they will come” stays basically the same (”They will come if you build that.”).

So does “I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!” (”I eat the fragment of shit like you in breakfast!”)

And on and on it goes.

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I can only imagine how frustrating translation was in the age before computers - thumbing through well-worn physical dictionaries, banging out jobs on typewriters, having to read someone’s manuscript full of chicken scratches. Well, wait, I know how that last one feels.

I just bought a dictionary program that sits on my desktop at the ready and is full of obscure turns of phrase and technological terms. Just cut and paste, and I’ll bet I’ll find it gets even easier than that if I get around to reading the manual.

There are programs that will remember every sentence you’ve ever translated and list them when you get to a similar sentence again, even years down the road. That’s the next step up for me, because even with the desktop dictionary I find myself on Page 19 wondering what I called a certain term back on Page 3. And then I have to remember if I used it at all between.

Translation brokers know about these tools, of course, and some of them actually require their freelance translators to use them. They use that as justification for driving the rates down, but the speed of the machine translation tools can make up for that difference.

Machine translation should continue to get better, but I think that the human element will always be necessary. At least until I am free to dislike Japan in peace.

Another Fork in the Road

I followed this guy’s advice; I came to a fork in the road and I took it.

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Teaching English in Japan is not the kind of job that contributes to a career. I knew that coming in and never meant for the job to be any more than a way to put food on the dinner table and a futon on my floor.

The prospect of doing it for yet another school year depressed me. Sure, the students were great and I enjoyed daily interaction with the school staff, but it has been a dead-end road since Day One and the plan was to get off that road before it came to the dead-end.

Baseball scouting is wonderful, but the hard fact is that it is not exactly lining my pockets. I tried and tried to get some freelance translating going, but nobody seemed to be giving out jobs. I’d sent out resumes and performed trials for a handful of companies but hadn’t heard from them through the middle of May.

School was sucking the life out of me and there seemed to be no end to the baseball limbo that I still find myself in. My motivation was dwindling and I was asking every day, “What’s next?”

I got my answer at the end of May. One of the translating brokers who liked my samples sent me a six-page transcript of a Japanese government meeting about revised labor standards. I’d get four days to translate it into English and $200 for the job. I pumped my fist and agreed to take the work.

The transcript was due on a Monday, a day in which I had a full schedule of classes and wouldn’t be able to get away from school and e-mail the finished job to the company (hotmail doesn’t work on the school computers).

That meant that I would have to finish the job by Monday morning before I went to school, but that was a problem because I was traveling to Kobe for some pro scouting on Saturday and Sunday. The work would have to come with me on the road and take a backseat to my scouting reports.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had jumped into the deep end of the pool without my water wings. My electronic dictionary, a faithful companion since 2005, wasn’t cutting it for this job. In addition to taking too much time to punch in all of the words I couldn’t render in beautiful, flowing English, it didn’t help me to distinguish between the many different ways to say “standards,” “management,” “consensus,” and a bunch of other bland business words that I’d always glossed over and regarded as unfortunate consequences of reading about baseball business.

I’d spent about six months fantasizing about the fancy-free lifestyle of an independent translator without imagining the work involved, and here it was in front of my face. Eventually, I found a way to get the minutes into English, and I found a way to cram the translating work into the time surrounding the baseball games, but it was a very tough weekend and I never stopped working until I pressed “Send” at home at midnight on Sunday night.

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I gutted out the school schedule for the next couple days and landed on Wednesday, my day off in the middle of the week, the day where I sneak off into the music room and play the piano for an hour with the soft pedal down, or go into town and run errands so that I can watch the night’s baseball game in peace.

A different translation broker contacted me with a new challenge: an outline of a chemistry experiment using ferrocyanide.

Stupidly, I accepted the job before I was even sure what ferrocyanide was. I still don’t really know what it is. Luckily, milliliters and grams are milliliters and grams in any language and I paid enough attention to guys like Dr. Cron and Mr. O to fake the experiment talk and grind through the chemical gibberish.

Before I knew it, it was the weekend again and time to go out and watch baseball. A stack of e-mails awaited me on Monday, another full day at school, and the translation tsunami had begun to swell.

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To make a boring story short, I accepted every job that came my way and took punches to the gut left and right. I found out how difficult it was to stay focused on repetitive topics like company secrecy, how maddening it was to deal with material that was written in bad Japanese, and how painful it was to squint at 10,000 blurry characters on a computer scan of a copy of a fax.

To be fair, there were some joys mixed in, such as the Shizuoka University Earthquake Preparedness Guide which I did fast enough to earn six figures doing nothing but earthquake preparedness guides all year without once cracking open a dictionary, and a SoftBank Prepaid Phone ad that will actually make it into tourism magazines.

All the while, I was teaching a full schedule and leaving Kochi every single weekend. I began to break in early July, when I stayed up until 3 a.m. with the scan-copy-fax project on a Sunday night after nearly getting barfed on by a drunk fan at a game in Nagoya earlier that day only to turn around the next day and teach five consecutive classes the last of which would find me falling off the raised teacher’s stage in front of the class and laughing uncontrollably about it. If that sentence was hard to understand, well, so was I after several consecutive 18-hour days.

I admitted that maybe I had a problem - a great problem to have, especially in these times, but a problem nonetheless - I was one guy trying to work three jobs.

I added up my winnings from the first four weeks of translating and realized that I had made more than half of my monthly teaching salary while still having to teach and scout baseball. Once my renewed visa started in late July, there was little reason to continue teaching.

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Since reaching the decision to quit teaching, life has gotten much brighter, but certainly not easier. I have little doubt about the immediate future, which is nice, but I also have precious little rest and time. As I did last summer, I’ve spent nearly every day covering baseball in Japan and writing the reports that go along with that. In between games and reports go translating projects and meetings with clients when I happen to be in their cities.

I’m finding out what I’m good at (advertising, commercial websites, infotainment fluff and soft humanities stuff) and what I stink at (chemistry, which seems to keep popping up, economics, cars, and computers). I’m finding my limits and learning how to say “no” every now and then. I’m learning how to conduct myself properly on the phone and write polite e-mails, no small feats in Japanese.

More than ever, I feel like a member of my clan. I’ve put my comfortable lifestyle at risk and am burning to win these small battles and make headway in a new industry. I end up like this sometimes and “keep goofy hours,” as Grandma Mac often said. My father and grandfather did this before me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this behavior went way farther back.

Of course, there are clouds of uncertainty. In the midst of every long project, I wonder, “Can I really do this?” I turn in jobs where I’ve made some leaps that the end clients may not like, and I’ve been dead wrong in other situations (some brokers are kind enough to share feedback).

However, the feeling I get when a broker has entrusted me with a big job is hard to beat. When I hang up the phone, the crowd is cheering like I’ve just hit a walk-off home run and I’m doing that silly hero’s celebration.

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Humphrey Bear does it better than I can at 6:26.

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I imagine the feeling will fade once I know more about my abilities and have a better feel for which projects are exciting and which are just work. But for now, I’m smiling and riding the waves that began crashing over my head in June.