Now is about the time of year that I am most glad that I live in Kochi. Everyone in most of the rest of Japan has gotten out their long pants, long-sleeved shirts and jackets, but we’re sitting pretty down here, looking forward to another month or so of 80-degree days. Sure, it’s getting cooler and it rains a bunch, but we can count on not having to put our T-shirts away until mid-November.
It’s just like this in the springtime as well, so we get two extra months of pleasant weather in a country that is renowned for having unpleasant weather. “I’ll take that,” said Mac, licking his index finger and making another tally on the board for Kochi.
We are on the cusp of my favorite season for local produce. Asian pears are falling off the branches as I write this, and soon enough, my beloved tangerines and ponkans will start showing up in grocery stores and fruit stands. Delicious potatoes, bok choy, and other vegetables make the rounds, and my refrigerator and fruit bowl burst with tasty fresh food into the spring.
I tried to arrange a pear-picking event last weekend and got no bites from friends and acquaintances around town. Undeterred, I hopped on my bike and went by myself to a farm different than the one from last autumn. All in all the experience was just OK, and would’ve been much more fun with a bunch of friends, but the pears were pretty tasty and the scene relaxing.
The trees are between four and five feet tall and the branches grow around the wires of a grid strung up in the air just above the orchard, so you have to stoop to get inside and sneak around like you’re in a gigantic, leafy cave. These hot pear babes will show you how it’s done.
Kochi has a variety of pear called the Niitaka Nashi, which I liberally translate as GIANT KOCHI PEAR. This website has a humorous explanation of the Niitaka Nashi and lots of other Japanese food. As it says on her website, she is a Japanese glutton. I applaud her effort and in the same breath summon the deckhand to bring me my brown pants because that machine translation isn’t bad.
These things are humongous, observe one in the hands of this Japanese college basketball player.
GIANT KOCHI PEARS are the offspring of a species of pear from Niigata, Japan, and a Kochi species which were scientifically married in 1912 or something like that. They weigh in at an average of over two pounds and can weight as much as four pounds. If pear trees could talk, they might be as much fun to prank call as bowling alleys used to be. “Excuse me, do you have four-pound ovaries? How do you walk?”
Aside: My generation’s children are not going to be able to experience the joy of crank calling. We’re way past the days of worrying about whether the geeks at Pizza Hut knew how to use *69. Caller ID, GPS Location, and random government wire-tapping take all the fun out of it.
Aside-Aside: Do you still answer the phone with a greeting intended for an unknown caller? One that would work for anyone from your kid brother to the President of the United States? I admit that I still do and pretend like I don’t know who the caller is. Silly, but I just can’t shake the notion that you’re not supposed to know who’s on the other side of the line digital signal traveling to space and back.
GIANT KOCHI PEARS cost as much as ten bucks apiece when they are shined up and packaged as local souvenirs for travelers, and two bucks when they’re especially lumpy or have a gash or scar on the skin. Japanese produce distributors think, right or wrong, that Japanese shoppers are finicky about the appearance of produce and have strict guidelines about shape and size. Whatever the case, I enjoy lumpy pears, crooked cucumbers, and stained carrots all year at close-to-reasonable prices. They’ll still never beat California, but I have to declare victory and feel good where I can.
I’m going to Tokyo tomorrow for a string of business meetings and to look at apartments in case I decide to move there next year. I ponied up fifteen bucks for two monstrous GIANT KOCHI PEARS at the farm, thinking that it’d be a classy move to walk into the meetings bearing some fabled local fruit that I picked myself. Wouldn’t be surprised if I cut one up and ended up feeding 5,000 with it.
In other news, my sister lives in New York and did the same thing with apples this weekend, only much, much cheaper. Check out her story here.

